My Sweet Isabella (The Ambassador Trilogy #3) Page 12

  “Why did you do that to me? I didn’t want to leave you. The way you treated me that morning killed me.” She took her fists and pounded my chest, not hard but enough to make me realize she was still upset over what I had done. I grabbed her fists and held them to me. She didn’t pull away again.

  I had to say the right thing. My head was foggy.

  “I was a mess, Isabella. I was taking too many pain pills, I was afraid I couldn’t satisfy you, I thought you needed better than me. I was so angry at being shot.”

  She recoiled and stepped away from me. “You hurt me, Fabrice.”

  I hung my head. I knew what I did. We stood in the foyer in silence again.

  “What you did to us was shitty, Fabrice. The wedding was announced. People were making plans to come to Paris, I was going to marry my best friend.” She was crying now. The tears were pouring out her eyes. She walked off somewhere and came back with a tissue to wipe her face.

  What could I say to that? What the fuck had I done?

  “I’m sorry, Isabella. I love you so much, that the thought of you having to deal with my depression and mood swings pushed me to send you home.”

  She looked at me and waited.

  “I hope you understand; I thought of you when I sent you home. I thought having you leave was for the best. I didn’t know how to start that utter nightmare other than make you pissed off at me.” My voice was strained. I felt weak. Weaker than I had in a while. I needed to sit down, but I couldn’t. I squeezed my eyes shut to get my balance. My stomach was queasy.

  “All those nights I cried for you. I begged God to bring you back to me. I thought I was going to die myself when I came back here without you. You made love to me so perfectly the night before and then the next day you told me to leave. I wanted to die. I didn’t care about anything. I wasn’t able to get out of bed and start living again till last week.”

  “I wasn’t thinking straight, Isabella.” She didn’t meet my gaze. She was looking at the floor. I lifted her chin and brushed a strand of hair from her face.

  “Look at you. Why are you doing this to yourself?” She asked angrily.

  I couldn’t answer her, yet I didn’t want the conversation to end. I didn’t want to leave her. I looked away from her trying to think of something to say.

  “Why are you here now? If you did all that so I would have a good life without you, why are you here now?” She was beginning to raise her voice at me. I noticed her hands now in her pockets.

  “Because, I can’t go on without you. I had to see you. I have to hold and kiss you. I want to make love to you as best as I can. I need you back. You are mine and I miss you so fucking much.”

  “That’s not a good enough answer, Fabrice.” She looked at me now continuing to wipe her eyes with her tissue.

  “What do you want me to say? It’s the only answer I have. It’s the truth.”

  “So you can do this to me again when the road gets rough. So you can push me away again when we hit another bump that might be difficult. That’s not what a couple does.”

  I felt like I was going to pass out. The room began spinning. What the fuck was wrong with me.

  “Can I get a glass of water?” I leaned up against the wall to anchor myself and not fall over.

  She nodded and walked towards the kitchen. “Come on in and sit down, Fabrice.” She went to the fridge and grabbed me a bottle of cold water. I sat down at the counter on a stool.

  “Would you eat something if I fixed food for you? I could make you a sandwich?” Fuck I would eat anything she fixed for me. I couldn’t eat, yet.

  “I can’t eat right now.” I straightened in my chair and sipped the water Isabella handed me. The light in the kitchen was bright, and I was able to get a good look at her eyes. They were tired, with dark circles underneath. Her beautiful, full lips were drawn down into a frown.

  “I don’t know what to say, Fabrice. I don’t know how we can get past this. You broke my heart.”

  “I loved you. I wanted you to have a good life and I didn’t think you would have one with me. Not in the shape I was in. I was so mean to you and took out my pain on you when you were so good to me.”

  “First of all, who are you to say what kind of life I should have? Did I once complain or yell? No, I loved taking care of you. Was it hard seeing you like that? Of fucking course! I knew your injury wasn’t going to last. I know how you are tough and wouldn’t accept that as your life. I didn’t care how long you took to get well. That’s what love is, Fabrice.” She leaned up against the fridge. God, I wanted to hold her in my arms and comfort her. She narrowed her eyes at me. I had fired her up and she became angry. In the large open kitchen her anger at me and hurt permeated the space. She took her hands out of her pockets and ran one of them through her hair.

  My throat became tight. The water was helping, and the sudden queasiness I encountered earlier was subsiding. I looked around the kitchen and saw baby toys. Her sister’s baby. I forgot about her.

  “Please, accept my apology. I was a total disgrace to myself, and I thought I would be to you. I’m so sorry. You have to know that wasn’t me that told you to leave. I fell in love with you the night of the gala. As soon as my eyes met yours, I knew. You were the one. You will always be the one. The minute you left me I fell apart. Being without you has been hell, Isabella.” I sipped the cold water waiting for her response. Exhaling deeply, I looked at her.

  “I can’t let you stroll in here and I’m supposed to trust that you won’t do this to me again. You were hurt? I can’t go through losing you again, Fabrice. I have too much going on in my life right now. My brother, my sister’s baby, my future. I can’t let you do that to me again.

  I shot her a look. “What is going on with your brother? And which one?”

  “It’s Danny. It’s a long story. He was being questioned in the death of Anthony.” My heart sank. Anthony was Isabella’s abusive boyfriend that apparently killed himself in his parent’s garage.

  “I thought he killed himself? “I asked, thinking that was a done deal.

  “Yeah, well it turns out he may have had some assistance. I can’t think about that shit right now.” She scrubbed her face with her hands.

  Her voice turned to shaky sobs. It took everything I had not to grab her in my arms, put her in the car and take her home with me.

  “I don’t expect you to jump in my bed and forget. I love you more than anything. You are my hope and my dreams. I can tell you that I want you in my life now and forever. Through the good times and the bad. If you look at me right now, you will see without you I’m nothing. I want to marry you, have children with you, and love you till I take my last breath. Just know that, and if you feel the same, my arms are open.” Reluctantly I stood up from the bench and looked her over one last time. She was crying and her eyes were not looking at me. We both needed each other. She was mine and only mine.

  I pulled her ring out of my pocket and laid it in front of her. She gasped.

  “I’ve been carrying this with me every day since you left. I hope you will wear this ring again and spend the rest of your life with me. It’s yours, and you are the only one who can be my wife.

  The ride back to the office was silent. Ronnie knew better than to ask me how things went. Gustan sat quietly next to me. My body was racked with pain inside and out. I stared out the darkened window of the SUV, lost inside the misery of my own thoughts. That didn’t go as I had planned and yet, I shouldn’t have expected anything more. I cannot break off an engagement and then expect her to take me back with open arms. I may be a rich and powerful man, but she was a woman with needs of her own, with feelings and with a life. I hope she understood the sincerity in my words. I hope she will find it in her heart to love me back again as much as I still loved her. I should have told her the truth. I should have told her the real reason I sent her home. I couldn’t do that yet. I don’t know why?

  I watched the traffic as Ronnie took me back to the Embassy. I had a
full day ahead of me with meetings and phone calls. At least keeping busy would take my mind off my misery.

  Fran was at her desk eating lunch when I returned. Thankfully, she was the only one there. Her gaze caught mine, and she knew by the look on my face that I needed to be left alone. She said nothing, and pretended to be busy working while she ate. I walked back to my office and shut the door. I felt torn apart, and yet I had a job to do. I wanted to go home and drink away the pain. The picture of Isabella was on my desk. I picked the snapshot up and looked into her eyes. She was smiling and happy. She was mine in that picture. Would she ever be mine again?

  My phone buzzed snapping me out of my thoughts.

  “Yes, Fran.”

  “You have a visitor.”

  “Tell whoever is here, I’m in a meeting.”

  “It’s a crying woman. It’s not Isabella,” she whispered into the phone. What the shit? A crying woman?

  “Who is she?”

  Still whispering she informed me who was out there. “She says her name is Marin, and you were her fiancé once.” I rolled my eyes and sighed. Not today. I didn’t want to see her today of all days. I had blown her off numerous times and should have known she would show up eventually. Marin didn’t take no for an answer. God dammit. I might as well get this meeting over with.

  “Send her in Fran. Interrupt me in ten minutes with an emergency of some sort. I don’t want her in here too long.”

  “Yes, Ambassador.” In a couple of seconds there was a light tap at my door.

  Fran poked her head in and behind her was Marin, dabbing her eyes with a tissue.

  Fran walked in and set a cup of coffee down on my desk. “Thank you, Fran.” I nodded at her and my gaze caught hers.

  I didn’t get up. Marin wasn’t worth my effort to stand.

  “What can I do for you, Marin?

  “Fabrice.” She rushed to me, and I put a hand up. Her eyes were filled with mischief, alerting me to the fact she was up to no good.

  “Take a seat, Marin. I don’t have much time. I have constant meetings back to back.” I sipped my coffee.

  “I’ve wanted to see you since I heard you were shot. My God, Fabrice. I was so worried about you. I tried to get in touch with you many times. Did you get the flowers I sent you?” I didn’t fucking know. I couldn’t have cared less if she sent me flowers. There were so many flowers and gifts that came. Fran took over sending thank you cards and I’m sure she sent one to Marin.

  “Yes, thank you,” I agreed to be polite and shut her up.

  “How are you feeling? You look so, so thin.”

  “Getting shot with a high powered weapon, even though I was shot in my leg, is quite devastating. I’m getting better every day.” I took a deep breath, wondering where this little rendezvous was headed.

  She sat in silence wiping her eyes of supposed tears I didn’t see.

  I looked at my watch.

  “What can I do for you, Marin?”

  She looked at me. Her light blue eyes appeared icy and calculating. She had such cold eyes compared to Isabella’s that were warm and inviting. She was up to something, she always was.

  “I heard you were single again. I wanted to see if I could come over and take you out to dinner one night. I would love to help you and maybe cook for you and…”

  I cut her off. “That’s not a good idea.”

  “Why not? You need a woman to take care of you in the kitchen and the bedroom. We had a wonderful time together, and I think being with me would help you right now.”

  I blew out my breath. I didn’t need this shit today.

  “I’m good. In fact, Isabella and I are back together. When I was shot, it took a toll on both of us. Isabella sat up with me at night when I was in pain, took my mood swings, and fed me when I didn’t have the strength to eat. We had a lot of alone time in Paris. If anyone will help me in the kitchen or my bed, it’s her.”

  She gasped.

  “I heard you broke off the engagement. That was the smartest thing you could have done. She is not for you, Fabrice. She doesn’t understand you like I do. She’s not as compatible. You can’t be back with her.” I was becoming pissed off quickly. The sight of her was putting me in a shitty mood. I sipped my coffee and looked at my watch again. I had about five more minutes of this hell before Fran would call me.

  “I loved you, Fabrice. I still love you. We were meant to be together.” She was dressed in a tight fitting red dress, nude shoes, and her hair pulled back in a chignon. She was letting the dress ride seductively up her thigh. I’m still somewhat a man and she looked fucking hot. If you didn’t know her or she didn’t open up her mouth, she was fuckable. I even thought she was fuckable at one time, but that was all she was good for. She didn’t love me like Isabella did. She would have never stayed with me in Paris like Isabella did.

  “No, you didn’t. You loved the idea of being with an Ambassador. You didn’t love me, Marin. I didn’t love you. We both used each other. You are not and will never be Isabella.”

  Her expression distorted into sadness and anger. I hit a nerve.

  “Thankfully I’m not her. What do you see in her? She’s a classless Italian.”

  I could no longer control myself. I stood up and began to walk around my desk. Her eyes suddenly shown fear.

  “That’s enough, Marin. I think it’s time for you to leave. We’re done with this meeting.”

  “Give me another chance, Fabrice.”

  “I don’t love you, Marin. Now stop begging. With your money, you can have any man out there. There are plenty others for you to choose from.” Suddenly her face changed to the vindictive evil witch I knew she was. She stood up and walked over to me. The scent of her familiar perfume, burned my nose.

  “You’ll regret this, Fabrice. Mark my words. I will ruin her. You don’t think I can. I messed with her before and I will hurt her again. Maybe not her directly, but I will hurt her somehow.” I remembered her sending pictures of me and my first wife’s sister in Paris out to dinner. She tried to make Isabella think I was having an affair with her.

  If she was a man I would have flattened her. It took all my strength not to punch her in the face. What the fuck did I ever see in this glorified whore? Rage surged through me and through gritted teeth. I let her know she will not make threats anymore.

  “You do anything to her or anyone she loves, and I will ruin you. Don’t test me, Marin.”

  She laughed. “You’re no threat. I heard you barely can do your job. You can’t fuck your girlfriend, and you drink yourself into a stupor every night. What can you do to me? Not a damn thing.”

  The rage to hurt her brew inside me. “Get the hell out of my office before I have you thrown out. I can make one call, and your bony ass will end up in jail. Do you want to test me, Marin? You are making threats to a government official. I can make your life miserable if you want to play the game. One call and you will be someone’s bitch in jail by tonight.”

  “Fuck you.” She yelled. Her face was bright red now and matched her overly processed hair.

  “No thank you. I would rather be shot again than touch you.” I walked over and threw the door open.

  “You will regret this, Fabrice. I guarantee you will.” I wanted her out of my face. The sight of her enraged me.

  “What I regret is ever touching you or wasting a second of my life on you. Stay the fuck away from Isabella and me.”

  She narrowed her brow at me and huffed out of my office. I wanted to slam the door behind her, but I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction she upset me. I quietly shut the door and sat down to finish my cold coffee. That woman had been a pain in my ass when I was fucking her and she was even worse now that I wasn’t. I don’t know how I tolerated her for as long as I did.

  When I knew she was gone, I stepped out of my office to apologize for her behavior.

  “That woman is a menace.” Fran nodded in agreement, and nervously went to get me a freshly brewed coffee. I thanked her and went
back to work.

  Ten minutes after my party with Marin, the phone on my desk flashed from Fran. I picked the receiver up expecting the call I was waiting for from the ambassador of Ecuador.

  “Put him through, Fran,” I said without hesitation.

  “Fabrice?”

  “Isabella?”

  “I wanted to hear your voice. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have called you at work.” My heart raced in my chest, and relief poured over me hearing her voice. I straightened in my chair.

  “I love you, Isabella.” My eyes were closed as I silently thanked God she called.

  “Can I come over tonight? We can talk more, and I want to make sure you eat.”

  “I’ll be home after seven. Let yourself in or wait till I get there and I will see you as soon as I can.”

  I heard her crying on the phone. My heart jumped in my chest, and I took a deep breath.

  “Don’t cry, baby.”

  “I want you to know, I don’t know.”

  “Tell me, what?” I sat back in my chair and took in the beauty of her voice. That voice that soothed me during my roughest nights.

  “I want you to know, I need you as much as you need me. I’ve been so alone and lost without you. Things are going to take time. I can’t give you my heart back all at once.” A tear slid down my face. I brushed it away as I listened to the words I needed to hear.

  “As long as I have you back in my life we’ll work on our relationship. I don’t expect you to fully forgive me right away. But you should know, I never stopped loving you, not for a second.”

  “I never did either, Fabrice. I will be there around seven.”

  I hung up the phone, and was amazed at how much better I felt in those few short minutes. Her words ran through me and awakened my dying body.

  The rest of my day went quickly. I had my meetings, physical therapy, and had coffee with Fran at the end of our day. My physical therapy nearly killed me. My therapist, Steve upped my workouts now that I didn’t need a cane to walk. I busted my ass in the gym to get back to my old self. I would not accept anything other than where I was. My chest was heaving with strain and every muscle in my body burned. I liked the feeling of a good workout. I was lifting weights again and I felt pumped. My impromptu meeting with that witch Marin spurred my anger to work out harder. If I ever saw her again in my lifetime, it would be too soon. In the back of my mind, I knew it wasn’t the end of her tirade. Nothing scared that bitch when she was on a mission.