My Sweet Isabella (The Ambassador Trilogy #3) Page 8

  Though she didn’t complain once, I could tell being away from them was hurting her. The Sunday dinners she loved to be a part of, were happening without her. Sundays always brought a quieter less happy, Isabella. That along with the new information I received on Andrea Noir was enough to push me to send Isabella back home. I knew I had to, but I didn’t want to. Maybe I was being selfish, but I didn’t want her to leave me yet. That was until one night when Gustan sent an urgent text message to me.

  One evening while we were having dinner outside, my phone buzzed with a text from Gustan, saying it was urgent he meet with me that night. Though I had other things planned for the evening, one of them was bath time with Isabella, I had to see what he wanted. Usually, Gustan would wait until the morning to go over information. That night, he rushed into my office like a man with a purpose, like a man in trouble with his boss, and he wanted to explain himself.

  “You aren’t going to sit down?” I asked, as he approached my desk once again, sweaty and out of breath.

  “I don’t feel like sitting.”

  “Gustan, why are you so out of breath? You need to go see a doctor.” I tried to lighten up the situation, but that wasn’t going to happen.

  He moved closer to my desk and looked over his shoulder before he began speaking.

  “Is Isabella close by?”

  “No, she she’s in the bathtub waiting for me, so let’s hurry this up. What is wrong, Gustan?” I stood up and leaned up against the front of my desk.

  “It’s Andrea Noir.” He wiped the sweat from his brow with a rag he carries in his pocket.

  “What about her?” The sound of her name sent a rush of heat to my cheeks. My muscles tightened in a quiet response of stress.

  “She’s disappeared.”

  Keeping myself under control was difficult as I stared at him. For a few minutes I wasn’t thinking about my leg or my depression. I thought about where this woman could be and how to keep my Isabella safe.

  “How do you know this?” I kept my eyes on him.

  “From the guy we have trailing her. The last time he saw her was two days ago and she was with your brother, Romain. They were in Rome then.”

  Gustan slid a folder across the desk. I opened the manila folder to see pictures of Andrea and Romain walking arm and arm through the city laughing, eating at an outside café, shopping at an open market, and then both of them going into an apartment.”

  “Doesn’t she travel a lot? Where is Romain?” I looked down at the pictures in front of me. Andrea was a plain looking woman. She was no beauty as most of the women Romain had been with in the past. She was tall and skinny, short dark hair, and somewhat masculine. She wore ripped jeans and bulky sweaters with combat boots in most of the pictures. Not what Romain would go for in his heyday? I have seen him with strippers and prostitutes so this was a big change. He looked happy when he was with her. I couldn’t help but think he might know what she was up to or who she was connected to.,

  “Romain is in Rome right now. We have a guy on him. He has done nothing we need to worry about, yet. I still have my suspicions, but as of now, we don’t think he knows who she is. We lost her. If she were on a business trip, we would still be able to trail her. We can’t find her.”

  Keeping those two idiots under surveillance was a pain in the ass. Those men cost me a fucking fortune, but I didn’t care. Money was not an issue when Isabella’s safety was involved. I had to believe in them and the job they were doing. Gustan finds the best. I was convinced they were doing a good job. I closed the folder and pushed it back towards Gustan.

  “Now what?”

  “We are staying glued to Romain like white on rice. His every move is being monitored. He can’t take a shit without us knowing. You and Isabella do what you’ve been doing. The sooner you can get back to Washington the better, Fabrice.”

  I realized that now.

  “Well, since that’s not possible right now with my doctors. What else can I do?”

  “Don’t tell anyone about this. Show no fear or lead on like you don’t know anything.” I nodded, not happy with anything going on. I was in no mood to play games. I wanted that shit done and over with. I wanted to enjoy the time with Isabella and not have to worry about getting her back home.

  “Goddamn it, Gustan.” He looked at me. I folded my arms across my chest. I was tired of the bullshit. How could she have disappeared? How could Romain get caught up in something like this? Was he that hard up for pussy? Being on drugs was one thing, being connected to a terrorist that tried to kill me was something totally different. For his sake he better not have known anything about this.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~

  My hands slid up her muscular calf. She had been running again around the vineyard, and her body was even better than ever. I let my fingers roam up to her flat stomach, and she whimpered in her sleep. I loved sleepy sex when she was half awake and so accepting.

  I was drowning in self-pity and depression. Fear was another issue I was now faced with for the first time. Not that I’m a wimp by any means. I feared almost nothing. What I feared was someone hurting Isabella. The rain against the windows told me the day would be sad and miserable on the vineyard. At least I could start the day off with a good round of sex with her. I wanted to make sleepy love to her that morning as the rain beat against the house.

  Isabella whispered into me with her eyes still closed. “I love waking up like this.” The softness of her skin was incredible. I was hard as a rock as I caressed every part of her. My tongue found her mouth and I dipped inside. Even in the morning, she tasted sweet and delicious.

  “I want breakfast in bed this morning,” I whispered into her mouth as she began to squirm under me.

  “What would you like? Name anything, and I’ll make whatever you want.”

  “No, no my sweet girl. I’m fine with what I have. You are what I want for breakfast.”

  She laughed, and I pinned her down to the mattress. I was hungry for her and wanted nothing but her. All my love and emotions for her came roaring into me. I kissed her again, and I felt dizzy. She had that sort of effect on me. I inhaled her scent and tasted her skin as I worked my way down her warm and soft body. Her hands dug into my hair. I looked up at her as I made my way to her belly button. I smiled up at her and she smiled down at me as my tongue dipped in.

  Gazing at her sleeping face made me realize how much I needed to make sure no one hurt her ever. My finger went inside her, and she moaned. Her moans were incredible. My fucking leg hurt as I put pressure on it, trying to crawl down her body and ease between her thighs. She arched her back and pushed her hips up to me. I pushed her thighs apart with my hands, keeping them there as I lowered my head and licked her clit. She cried out. Her fingers dug roughly into my hair; she loved this. Feeling her pussy quake around my tongue moved me to dive in deeper. My tongue tunneled through her pussy licking, fucking, and tasting her. I couldn’t get enough. She was like warm honey as I buried my face as deep as I could. Her hands pulled at my hair and the more I lapped her up the harder she grabbed on. I heard her say my name over and over. I pressed my tongue against her clit as I inserted one of my fingers into her. My cock wanted in, but first I would taste her and let her come on my face.

  “God, yes.” She screamed and pushed my head into her deeper. Christ, I needed to come. I was so close. I felt my cock dripping with want. I stopped for a second. “Come on baby, come for me all over my face. I want to taste you all day.” I found out early on when I talked dirty to her she came even harder. She loved the dirty talk.

  Within seconds she was trembling. I felt her come on my tongue, and I quickly rose up and thrust into her. Fuck, she was so tight.

  “Isabella.” I didn’t realize I had called out her name. I was so close. I kissed her mouth and down her throat. She grabbed my ass and pushed me deeper.

  “Come on baby, come inside me, Fabrice.” She milked my dick the way I loved. The orgasm wouldn’t stop. I filled her with me, and she sig
hed in pleasure. Making love to her that morning proved how much I loved her. She needed to be kept safe. As much as I lived for her, I had to let her go home. I couldn’t keep putting her in danger anymore. Her safety was my responsibility. I had her family to think about as well. They counted on me to keep her protected, to take care of her, and to love her. I loved her so much I had to live without her. Now was the time.

  The vineyard became a busy place again with more security I didn’t want. I made a very serious rule that no matter what, no one was allowed to come into my home, whenever they wanted. That was the one place I could go to get away from the security and press. Somehow the press found out where I lived, and they were camped out around the entrance of our driveway. We were becoming prisoners in our own home. I was mean, and irritable. Isabella was at the front line of my anger. I didn’t mean to be such an asshole. Also in the back of my mind, I knew each day she was with me, I put her life in danger. Worrying about her and feeling sorry for myself took a toll on me and everyone around me. As the weeks went by and the irritation of my situation dragged on, our sex life grew cold, and I began to feel like a caged animal.

  I needed her desperately. I wanted her so bad my whole being hurt, but I wasn’t good to her. She deserved so much better. That morning I woke up with her snuggled to my body. I melted into her naked body and I didn’t want it to end. That may be the last time I wake up to her. The thought tore me to shreds.

  I had to let her go home and now was the time. She was in danger every minute she was in Paris, and now with this Andrea missing, her safety could be in even more peril. I didn’t want her to know what was going on yet. If I did, she wouldn’t leave me. I didn’t want her to worry. The only other way around this issue was to make her angry with me. That thought made me sick. I lay awake most of the night thinking how to do this in the right way, but there was no right way. Not only would I lose her, but I was going to lose a part of me. There was no way around it. I had to tell her and the longer I didn’t, the harder it was going to be.

  As the sun began to filter into our room, I felt her stir. She sat up and pushed that beautiful wild hair out of her eyes like she did every morning and smiled at me. I didn’t smile back. My leg hurt like hell and depression was setting in. Fear darkened her eyes as she looked at me. Tears were surfacing and pooling in those chocolate brown eyes that had so much life in them.

  “Tell me what you want? What can I do, Fabrice? You are so sad. Every day you seem to be sadder.” If she only knew I was sad because I had to send her home.

  The pain of those words crushed my heart. I never wanted to be the one to make her cry. I was supposed to be the one to make her life amazing, happy, and perfect. I couldn’t guarantee her safety and that alone was enough for me to send her back home where I knew she would be safer.

  I couldn’t answer her. I had to come up with something to make her angry with me. I decided to tell her I didn’t think we should get married and that we need to push the wedding back a while. Calling off our wedding was the last thing I wanted to do. Should I keep her with me one more week? Should I just forget she was in danger and hope for the best? Finally, I said something.

  “I want to be the Fabrice you fell in love with. I’m trying so hard to be tough and not let this get to me,” I said.

  “You are the man I fell in love with. You are my Fabrice. I love you. Don’t be sad today, baby.” I couldn’t bear to see her cry. I drug myself out of the bed, and hobbled to the bathroom. I was surprised every morning I still had a cock to piss with.

  I came back and she sat up in bed, naked and so fucking perfect. Her breasts were so full and perky, her stomach flat, and her skin so dewy and glowing. I was about to throw it all away so she could have a life.

  “Fabrice, let’s go somewhere today. Let’s take the Bugatti out and you can let me drive. How about we go to Paris and eat at a café, shop, and sit and watch people. I think getting out for a while will do you some good. We could go for a long drive out in the country, whatever you want.” I hadn’t been out of the house since I came back from the hospital except to go to the Embassy. I worked from home once I was released, but had no desire to do anything.

  “No, I don’t want to go anywhere.” I grabbed a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt out of my closet. My usual outfit for the day.

  “Getting out will be good for both of us. You are getting better every day. You know the doctor said healing would take a while. You were doing so good and now you’re so sad. You need to do something happy, to cheer you up.”

  “I said no,” I yelled. I threw my clothes on the floor and walked back to the closet. I don’t know why. Maybe I was trying to hide from what I had to do.

  She didn’t say anything.

  “Can I help you?” She finally said as she stood up to retrieve my clothes.

  I walked back out and grabbed my clothes from her. “No, I don’t need any help. I don’t want any fucking help. I want to be left alone. Please, Isabella leave me alone for a while.”

  She stood in front of me naked, perfect, and hurting. I had not raised my voice at her so loudly. Yes, I was depressed and pissed most days, but I never yelled at her, not like that. I cringed inside.

  “All I want is you, Fabrice. All I need is you, broken, bruised, hurt, I don’t care. I’m so happy you are alive and soon we will be back in Washington.” She walked up to me smiling trying to soften my anger. She was good at diffusing situations. Before the attack she would have told me to fuck off.

  “Shut up, Isabella.” I tried to make her angrier at me. That way this whole thing that I was about to do would be a lot easier.

  She gasped and her gaze on me halted. She looked shocked. What had I done? There was no turning back now. I’d set the wheels in motion, and I had to keep going.

  I turned away from her. I was embarrassed at being so brash and not wanting to look at her when I told her what I swore I would never say.

  She didn’t hesitate and came and wrapped her arms around my body. I tightened. I wasn’t worthy of her arms or her love with what I was about to do.

  “Fabrice, I love you so much. I can’t wait to be your wife. Do you know my mom picked out her dress already? I haven’t even picked out my dress yet and I’m the bride. I’m thinking black and ivory for the colors. Do you like that?”

  I turned around and looked at her. Now was the time. I had to do this horrific thing now.

  “Isabella”

  “What?” her beautiful face smiled up at me. Her face, so perfect, so full of life. She sat back down on our bed.

  “We need to talk,” I said with an expressionless gaze on her.

  “You don’t like black and ivory. I don’t care. Pick some colors you like. You know how much I hate this shit. I will, however be the one picking the food and desserts.”

  I grabbed her hands. “No, that’s not why. Listen to me. I…I can’t marry you. Not like this. I’m not the same man anymore. I’m depressed and angry. You don’t need to be stuck here with me in this house all the time. It’s not fair to you. Listen how I yelled at you. You don’t deserve that.” I watched her face turn from happiness to sorrow in a second. She sat there looking at me not understanding what I said to her.

  “What?” The look on her face was something I won’t forget.

  “Isabella, I have nothing to offer you right now. I can’t satisfy you like I used to. I’m damaged. I’m depressed and angry. What will I be like in ten or twenty years?” She stared at me and surged to her feet, pacing our bedroom.

  “This makes no sense, Fabrice. Am I not taking care of you good enough? I will try harder. I know I’ve been preoccupied with cooking and Avery here, but I will work harder to be there for you.” She walked to her closet and threw on a pair of jeans and a shirt in a panic as if she knew.

  Her hands went to her wild hair. Her words were tearing me apart.

  “It’s not you. It’s me. This is my fault. I’m so sorry, Isabella.”

  ‘If this is about
sex, what the fuck. I could care less about being tied up or dominated. You can still make love to me and that is all I care about. We’ve hit a slow spot, so what. That’s expected. What you did to me the other morning was earth shattering. Why would you say you can’t marry me?”

  Her voice became louder. Her breathing rapid. I could tell she was getting pissed off at me and fast.

  “You are too special to be tied down to something like this. I’ve aged ten years in three months. Look at me.”

  “I’m looking at you. I look at you every day, and I see the same man I saw the night of the gala. You are the same man with an injury that will eventually get better. This is fucking bullshit.” She screamed pointing at my face. I wanted to take all I said back, but I couldn’t now. I should have waited. She had been so good to me over the past three months taking care of me and helping me heal.

  “Listen to me. Let’s put the wedding on hold and see if this is what you want. Go back home for a while. Take a break from all this and enjoy life a little. When I come back to Washington, we can see how we feel.”

  “Put the wedding on hold? Who the fuck does that? The date has been announced in the paper. People are making plans. The invitations have been printed. I don’t understand where this is coming from. I have never made you feel like you are less than a man. I have done nothing these past three months but keep you uplifted. Why are you doing this?” Her voice began to shake as she sobbed. She covered her face with her hands and cried harder ripping my insides out. I wanted to hold her. I wanted to love her. I wanted to keep her with me forever.

  “Please understand. I love you more than anything.”

  “Shut up.” She cut me off.

  Pulling open the closet door she raced in and grabbed her suitcases. I sat down on the bed.

  “Would you please settle down and let’s talk about this some more?”

  She stopped and turned around and looked at me.

  “You want me to go, you want me to stay. You make love to me one night and tell me I’m your world and the next day you say we can’t get married. You don’t know what the fuck you want, and obviously I’m not it. You’re right, I think it’s best for me to go home. You have your mind made up. I can’t beg a man to love me or marry me. I won’t. I’m going home for a while and be with my family. I need my family.” She was yelling now, the tears streaming down her face. I wanted to kiss them away. I wanted to pick her up like I used to and throw her on the bed. I couldn’t.